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Sunday, January 31, 2010 | 8:38 PM
I believe. || Back to top.

♥ Hello my readers, Im back for blogging again...

Sorry for been MIA for so damn long... I dont have the passion to blog like lastime I used to, blog everything that wanna to share to the whole world ^^ Anyhow, I will try my best to try to blog more ya, wont quite blogging but just still open it for public to read it =)

Hmm everything goes quite well frm end of 09' to 10'... nothing really bad happen at least =)

But this time I signed in here, to blog bout him.... =)

Thanks to him. I started have hopes, faith and get out from darkness in love since I met him...
If you know me really well or been follow my blog for long time.. Imma such a goddamn foolish, lost, pessimistics, emo and loser person lastime... most of my close friends said that Im a really dark-minded person... everything have to think from the bad and being so pessimistics for long long time...

We started to being a very very normal friend. We know each other from friend's friend. We didnt talk much at all but just having fun together in the club with his friends. Hmm after the night, thanks to facebook =) We still keep in touch as acquaintance in fb. We went out for drinking session after he finished his work... of course, I didnt have any special feelings but friend to chat many things with him for the first time. And yet, he's already not available that moment. Nah, really have nothing for the first time, but after the chat, my first thought for him was.. '' Hmm he's really a nice, funny and ambitious guy. And he's very good to his gf...''

I always treated him as a normal friend, we chat almost everyday in msn either sms, met few times in a week... hmm so weird for a normal friend right? It was nothing at the begining but as times goes by... I think I started have feelings to him like I never used to be like others. But I know I shouldnt do that caused he's not available at all =[
Somtimes, I wonder why he treated me like this... a little too much for being a normal friend...
Too much of time to chat and hang out together for being a normal friend already...
I always used to comfort him when he has problems with his relationship, his stressful work and more. Try to pretend as a real buddy for him to accompany him... I just try to do whatever for a friend that makes him feel happier... How stupid I am for lastime... ='(((
I tried to give up and just wanna to treated him as a sincere good friend... For me, perhaps you dont have to have him to be your love ones, I dont want to ask for more, tell him what I feel to him.. As long he's happy, everything already was worthwhile for me ^^ At least, I have a really nice and funny friend, a person good to chat with =) No pain, no gain =p

On the last day of 2009 and first day of 2010, we hang out for club with his friends and had alots of fun... but the most memorable thing is, I had the first kiss (eventhough it was on my cheek but I was melting already that time... aww~), first breakfast, the first one and I wanted to meet so bad on the first day of year 2010... I know Im stupid and shouldnt to think bout that much, but it was a good start and memorable day for me =)

But until he has major problems with his relationship... broke up and back to single...
I did felt bad and sad for him... but he said he have to and let go for his work and future...
We did getting closer and closer after the broke up, met each other more and more...
Until the day we hang out for club with a lots of friends... I felt a weird feelings that he never used to treated me like before... even his buddies and my babes and dudes asked is it he's my bf hahaha XD After club, he sent me home and we chat alots again in his car.......
He told me everything bout his feelings towards me... bla bla bla... we blushed, we smiled and we laughed....
I dont want say bout it more la hahaha =)

Sometimes I do felt bad for his ex, feel upset because he could let go so easily for his past, worried that he might hurt, dissapoint or maybe worse, betrayed me some day... worried that he misses his ex or whatever shit and crapsss...

I just dont want to care that much anymore...

Well, I can't denied that I feel so goddamn nice during the period that I'm spending with him. I'm lucky to have him, that I willing to sacrifice for him... lalalala =p

I don't mind to be teased by people around me, criticize it, I don't mind people I know said that I'm a fool, for loving him, I felt so different when I'm being him, just feel like giving him all the best of mine... Really...

I know we couldnt change or get whatever you want to, but I will try my best to be a girlfriend =)

I just want to appeciates and cherish the day that I've spent with him.. Though my past gave me alots of sorrow, unhappy experiences, and thinking too negatively... Sometimes I know Imma a little selfish, realized that Im bad and couldnt help you anything but giving alots trouble, but I'll promise, I will appreciates what you had did to me and again, I'll promise to be a good girlfriend, ^^

Loves.

XOXO

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