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Wednesday, June 24, 2009 | 3:34 AM
♥ Still, it's really difficult to manage that.... I just cant think on the brighter side, I did tried my very best... and this really leads me into depression and just emo, emo and emo. And I feel like crying after I finished a blogger's post that just same as the condition as mine. I need fresh air and a relief. Haih~ Yes, I dont have any real friends... I spent most of the time on myself, sometimes it was so awful to being alone... Hmm maybe I should look for a brighter side you see, this is called life. Perhaps I've already used to it, perhaps I born to being alone.. Why I have to deserves that much? Why me? I've thought really deep on that... For really long time thou... (If readers really notice bout my blog) If I keep standing right the same place and being like this, the problem will not be solved and get over... So, I try to move on... moving on... Im not going to cry and emo in my room for whole day... or cut myself or whatsoever... Yea, I admit I really hope that someone that I love that jump into my life wanting to love me like the way I want them to love me. Am I too desperate? Hmm... I just want to be needed, I want to be loved, I want to matter to someone. I want someone to be obsessed about me and never want to live without me.... Is it possible?? Back to reality... I know it's cruel... Especially the time that I've decided to stop taking my course, like my future path... I have to leave everything there and start a new one. And Im not really sure and confidence if I could do better then that... But when Im thinking back, is this what I really want? Perhaps it's a chance for me to get away completely? I just cant stop to think this and that... My brain is hurting me and caused me for damn insomnia for a few nights... I want to go back and start a new begining and I know it's impossible... I started to feel so regret... Just hate myself, really... sigh. Damn. Blink-folded me up. X.X Lost and lonely. XOXO |
