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Saturday, March 7, 2009 | 12:48 AM
Imperfection. || Back to top.

♥ Hey everyone ^^ It's the time to update for my blog and what happened about me nowadays..

I've been looking for some freelance job for this few weeks, really hopes to earn some money since I've lots of thing to buy and wanna do some saving too =p But no matter how, Im gonna spent most of them in my hair, outfits, cosmetics etc. A superb spender XD
But I really have to control myself to no over-spending =(

Yeap. I work for another event company again, for selling Gin at Cocobanana. They have to see my first testing day before they hire me. I know Im sucks in doing sales but I tried to do more sales as more as I can, maybe I dont have a good-looking face, not hot at all as Lena Fujii or any superb hot model from Victoria Secret, and couldnt speaks well like my senior does. I think that day was the most bad and awkward day that I ever had. When I first arrived there, I saw alots of shooter girls selling tequilla and vodka from other agent too. Many competitors. The bad thing is, I saw my previous agent!!! I've trying to hide myself away from them, but I failed. It's impossible to hide away from them caused they all are working in the club same as mine. The girls, the supervisor, the manager and other staffs all are there!!! They saw me, working for another agent. How Im gonna concentrate on my job with many pairs of eyes looking at me?!! They'll judge and tease at me why still some other agent will hire a useless worker like me. Im sooo awkward and sad that time. They dont hire me it's because I couldnt do well on sales. This was my first time to lost a job. And now, they saw me working for another agent!!! I felt so inferior and really upset. Why I cant do well in sales like my senior does, my sales on that day even less than a new girl and she dont have any experience at all!! Why Im sooo stupid??!!! I cried and really feels like refuse to continue my job, I wanna go home!! How Im gonna be a good marketing student?! Im so stupid!!!

I felt so weak that time, why that's no one could understand me, comfort me and always stand by just for me?! I even dont have any real friends... my parents will not always beside me and live with me and care about me forever, they'll leave me one day too... How can I live without them?

Im tired to forced myself be tough and strong... Sigh...


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