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Sunday, October 24, 2010 | 7:45 PM
Depression. || Back to top.

Ohh damn Im started to hate my blog... My blog is dead. Haha I think some of my friends or reader think that I am a superb pessimistics gal ever ~ Im tired of emotion, tired of being nice and to good to someone which that dont even wanna to care about it.. tired of  everything... Why? I know I lucky enough to breathing here... to blog now ... but I really hate October seriously... and my recent life...

Just came back from a friend's bro wedding brunch, a worst brunch ever in my life...
Honestly I dont feel wanna go there before a few days the brunch starts ... but because of her, she's wanted me to go there, and I thought I would know some new friends there and go there to get rid my bored since my weekend is like shit...
But... before that I know it was nothing good for me to go there... I know I will see someone that I dont wanna see.. His bro, his parents and his new girlfriend. Sounds great? I met him damn a few times after we broke up... Is this fate or what? God plan these shitz that I dont feel I cant handle it?  I really dont wish to see him anymore.. Because whenever I see him... sighhh I dont ever feels good... Im weak... Just one word SIGH.
Sometimes I wonder why I am so S.T.U.P.I.D to decided to go there? Yes, I know I'll see him... I wanna pretend Im fine now but I seriously feels awful... but the awfulness wasnt that pain like lastime does...

Ahh can I be stronger please... sigh....
Im tired of heart broken, dissapointment and sadness...
Friendship problems.. which is marks a darkest experience in my life...
I have only my family and my girls which is the precious thing in my life... but they seems to leave me without any reason.. guess Im belongs to loneliness?
Im tired of loneliness.. Sometimes I wanted some friends to stand by for me when I really really needed them but there's no one there for me... Is this very difficult to achieve? ....
My friends... all of them like leaving me one by one... and I felt so bad... so bad which no one couldnt understand how bad is my feelings... and Imma a type that dont no how to express my feelings in a right way... Can someone who cares about me tell me what's going on??  Can please take me away the sorrow and bring me to a better place?

Sigh. I dont feel wanna continue to write caused everything now is so deep down for me...
Just hope everything will be fine very soon.. and I have to balance back my emotions...
I couldnt let the life like these right? Bad and good also happens in a some day why dont we go for the good one?

Screw negativity ~~~ Screw loneliness~~~

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